Suze Muses
The sun is shining. It is easy for me to be grateful when the sun is shining. Pretty much anytime it fills the sky, I give thanks. Sipping on my Martha & Bros dark roast coffee with half and half in my new pottery mug that I splurged on at a dear friend’s open studio in May. My first handle-less coffee cup. I am shaking things up in my morning routine. Old dog – new trick. It’s a little hot to touch when I pick it up after my first pour but oh so lovely in my hand after that. It’s got a nice little curve to it and is very pleasing to look at as it sits on my desk. Little Lula pup is nestled on my lap. Big Dog Esme lays across my feet as I write this. Both dogs are warm and peaceful, which helps to ground me. Nothing beats the unconditional love of dogs. They constantly want to be with me, love me up and then look at me with the dreamiest soulful eyes. Heaven. The bay is calling me for a swim today and I can fit it into my schedule. The view as I drive up and over Franklin takes my breath away. While I am not thrilled with the way my body looks, (don’t look down – avoid mirrors!) I am strong and pretty dang healthy. My house is warm and cozy with lots of natural light. My bedroom/office is colorful and has art, photographs and chachkas that soothe and please me. So, with all this loveliness, why do my thoughts still head south? Fretting about money. I’m a freelancer, which means I often work for free. Today, I’m coming up against comparing myself to other women my age, others in my profession and I am coming up glaringly short. I am also hooked into the Bad Suze Streaming Thoughts Network – not good enough – not doing it right – not doing it at all – who do you think you are? TEDIOUS!!! So what, life is a bit hard these days. Isn’t everyone’s? I can tend to spiral down and swim in the cesspool of what’s not good, and wah wah, poor me. Squirming around in that morass is excruciatingly uncomfortable but the discomfort reminds that if I want to feel better, I need to lean into gratitude – it’s infallible. I start with l am happy to do what I love for work and use my gifts and hear people’s stories and bask in their beautiful words. We can’t all be 6 figure earners, right? My children are living their best lives and they like me. I have a posse of incredible friends and colleagues. Already gratitude is pulling me up into the light and creating more room in my chest to breathe. And breathing is good. Thankful for breath. Thankful for anyone who is reading this and starting their own gratitude list.
Gratitude Thursday Writing Prompt ~ Make a gratitude list of all the little delights that show up for you every day, all the big, necessary things that aren’t broken and buoy you up, every comfort you have, every bit of love you get and get to give back… try and come up with things that you take for granted because they are just there, like a roof over your head, hot water, water at all, fabulous memories, what difficulties you have overcome…find all of it and keep adding to it whenever something comes to mind…
I am not talking about toxic positivity here – call a hardship what it is, I’m just saying find some ballast against the storm.