All My Sorrows


Shut tight the bedroom

draw the curtains closed except for slivers of vertical light

pull the weighted comforter down

slide under pull over you sink

clutch at the air of your pain

a searing lightning bolt

that seizes up your lungs

squeezes your heart to a standstill

you can’t breathe you can’t breathe

you panic

your whole body convulses with the

isolation separation degradation

shame guilt disgust

you draw your legs up

until your feet are flat on the mattress

your hands are back beside you on the same bed

push yourself up gulping at the oxygen

above you

as if being upright is the answer

to suffocating

car truck rolling wheels revving engines

drown the birds’ songs

deliveries made and kept

roads jack hammered and rattled

construction on astronomically over priced out of reach

places to teach move in find trust unfurl in safety

in the rest of this house are the fruits of your loins and love

content to keep the door closed

arguments rise and sputter laughter bubbles up and fades

silverware clanks on plates and bowls and pots and pans

cupboards open bang shut refrigerator suctions food moves

oil sizzles smells wafting television woofers bass treble

a virus floats on coughs and spittle droplets snot

disinfectant squirts and squirts and squirts

wash sanitize repeat dry cracked skin chasms crevices

they are positive you are negative

yet it feels reversed

they bond you brace for the setting sun darkness

your thoughts gratitudes encouragement fight your demons swirling

black as night falling back into the impression depression

of the mattress.