In a workshop I was taking yesterday, I was reminded that summer’s archetype is the lover. While summer is the season of my heart and soul, I have no lover nor has anyone claimed me as theirs. I haven’t had that kind of partnership for 10 or more years. Or maybe ever except in glimpses or fits and starts. That ache, that absence in me might never be filled. I am trying (and mostly failing) to make friends with that likely truth. Instead of wallowing in my grief and loss, I turn to the gorgeous loves that I do have – my vast and varied friendships, my two children, my chosen family and a smattering of family who share my DNA. Hands down, I am lucky in that kind of love. James Baldwin said it best as he always does,
The longer I live, the more deeply I learn that love – whether we call it friendship or family or romance – is the work of mirroring and magnifying each other’s light. Gentle work. Steadfast work. Life-saving work in those moments when life and shame and sorrow occlude our own light from our view, but there is still a clear-eyed loving person to beam it back. In our best moments, we are that person for another.
As I pine for the lover of summer to share adventures and awe and all the moments light and dark, I am happy in my skin and do just fine with my own company. Solitude is quite sublime. But loneliness is a hollow empty pain that wears your joy away. To be known and to be loved must be divine.
Ferocious Friday Writing Prompt ~ Who do you love? Who loves you? Are you fulfilled? Write about a love relationship. Write it through all your senses.